IPL3 over view

Why Mumbai Indians are potential winner of 3rd IPL?
They are the most balanced team in IPL this year with fearsome bowling department. Slinga Linga and Zaheer Abusing Khan are double edged sword in their armory. In spinning department they have the slapping expert Bhaji puri! You may ask, then how did they lose in last two editions of IPL. Well the answer is their super star batsman wasn’t in real form in last two editions; now he is. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. He is the difference between Mumbai Indians and other teams.

A captain who plays with his heart and soul is none other than Rajasthan Royal’s Shane Warne. He sweats, he sledge, he spit and he grunt. But ultimately he wants to win the game at any cost. In fact this is how every captain should be isn’t it? In this third edition Rajasthan Royals is the only team which crossed 200 twice with being all out for less than 100 runs. Their star batsman Yousuf Pathan scored stunning 37 balls century in first match and scored duck in his next one. With Watson back in the side Rajasthan Royals became stronger. But I guess it is too late for them to beef up the side. As I type this article RR lost to Mumbai Indians where Mumbai Indians enter to semi final first time ever in IPL. RR has a slight chance to enter into first four only if they win their remaining matches.

Delhi Dare Devil Captain Gauti thinks RR is pretty ordinary team. He didn’t hide his feelings either; called RR an ordinary team on air and drew Mr.Modi’s ire! Mr. Chairman and Commissioner demanded Ghabir be charged with a Level 1 offence! It is no secret that RR is Modi’s favorite team.

What next? There is shocking news that Lalit Modi is planning to have two kind of IPL; IPL in India and IPL overseas. Last year’s surprise success in South Africa made him to think to have two IPLs! Ladies and gentlemen, if you are not aware of it till now, Mr.Modi is forming a parallel cricket world that will run throughout the year!

I must admit that their marketing guys are awesome! Look how they brought young crowed in to the cricket stadium last year in South Africa via beauty contest! Self proclaimed beauties rushed to the galleries followed by hundreds of young chaps trying to get their attention. End of the day the stadium is full. Who would have even thought about having a beauty contest between a cricket match? Big applaud! You guys rocks!

This year there is strategic time out, in fact it is the time for more Advertisements. Money flows through every crack and holes. Each wicket falls, each over; there are Ads, so much so we even misses one or two balls after the Ads done with their never ending assault. Now; in between the balls they show us two top class Indian batsmen fighting for a mobile phone on big screen, “yeh mera hai, na mera hai… ha ha ha” excuse me, why can’t they buy two mobile phones and solve the issue? The whole cricket screen may shrink into half while you are watching your favorite player hitting a six. Half screen static ads and half screen cricket. I could imagine what will be the next. On the corner of the TV in a 10 cm box will be game cricket and rest will be the ads! Bravo!

For most of the players IPL seasons are carnival, foreigners as well as local players, they just wait for the season, lots of money, fame, liquor and chicks. Harbhajan Singh bought a HUMMER H3 vehicle, Poor Bhaji supposed to buy it on first edition of IPL, because of that stupid Sree Santh who stuck his face when Bhaji was waving his hand, lost opportunity and lots of money. He bought it in second edition so did MS Dhoni.

It is good for a number of aspiring regional players too; IPL brought them some light of hope and fame into their career. Or else all those Saha, Tyagi, Jakati, Sodi and many will not be playing in big stage like IPL, let alone for the national team. A player never been heard about before IPL was Ravindra Jadeja, instant success of the game gone into his head and decided to put his own price tag for himself and paid the price! Yes we are witnessing everything in IPL!

The owners of Chennai Super Kings didn’t bid for their own son Dinesh Karthik. MS Dhoni being a wicket keeper they didn’t see any slot for Karthik in the team. Now the rumors are Mr.SriKanth and company is lamenting big time for not taking Karthik in the team, as they think he is still good enough as a standalone batsman. Chennai Super Kings owners had personal and emotional value over Sri Lankan spin wizard Muthayya Muralidaran, because Murali is their “Sala”! Some Chennai officials are asking the owners “is Sala most important for you than your own son?”

If there is an award for patience I think it should go to commentator Harsha Bhogle’s wife. Man, this guy never stop talking, he talks whatever comes in his mind without a filtering process. Other day at the presentation party he said KKR’s winning captain Ganguly’s picture will come in next day’s news paper, another occasion he was asking his fellow commentator why Kevin Paterson is drying his sweat wet shirt, and I wonder what he will be doing in the bedroom with his wife. No act and a lot of talk! It will not help you Mr.Bhogle, I think you should have fixed your tongue rather than fixing your hair.

Ravi Shastri, another commentator with “tracer bullet” expression always talks about records. Yousuf Pathan scored second century in IPL history; Praveen Kumar became second bowler to get Hat-Trick wickets in IPL history; what the fuck, what is he mean by IPL history? Dude, IPL is only 3 years old. Consequently almost everything should be registered as history then! Hopeless case!
Commentators can be funny at a time and stupid most of the time! Look at this one for fun;
“Warner just hit a six, if he hit another six; it helps his team to add 12 runs.” My god, what a mathematician he is. Are you the brother of “a beautiful Mind” fame John Nash by any chance?

That’s all folks for now.
Adios!

IPL 3 – The fun just began now!

I know I didn’t post an article here for a long time, let me tell you I wasn’t even given a thought to abandon this blog as most of you guys anticipated. I was busy writing for some entertainment websites and publications where I restricted like a clipped bird! Now I am back to the zone where there is neither teacher’s baton nor red signal lights.

IPL Edition 3 took more time than the previous two editions to take off among the crowd. One thing that sticks like glue throughout IPL was controversies; it simply refuses to stay away from this year’s IPL too.

Why Mr.Lalit Modi has to show the door to one of the BCCI selectors Narendara Hirwani?

The incident occurred on March 25, a day before the selectors were to pick the squad for the T20 World Championship, when the Mumbai Indians were playing their home game against Chennai Super Kings.

Insulted by the incident, Hirwani informed chairman Krishnamachari Srikkanth, who in turn took up the issue with BCCI secretary N Srinivasan. Hirwani, along with Surendra Bhave (West Zone) and Raja Venkat (East), have boycotted the event since then. But Srikkanth, who happens to be the brand ambassador of Chennai Super Kings has been seen at matches. The North Zone selector, Yashpal Sharma, happens to be a match referee for IPL.

Modi tried to downplay the incident. “It was a misunderstanding concerning accreditation. Hirwani didn’t have the ticket for the seat he was occupying,” he said.

With the BCCI assuring that it would order a probe into the incident, the selectors aren’t willing to come on record.

Wait a minute, what was the reply from Modi? Ticket?

If I am Modi I won’t even ask for ticket to a BCCI selector, oops! And that is what this guy is doing all over the gallery asking people to show up the tickets. No wonder why he is in the camera all the time!

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a selector said: “We were not there to see the cheerleaders. We had a World Cup team to pick the next day. The selectors have the best seats in town, but in the IPL other people are important. I am staying away from the game since Mr Modi insulted one of us.”

A genuine doubt arises here as this selector indicating most of them comes to watch the game is not actually interested to watch the game but cheerleaders. His second allegation if you put it in right (wrong) words will be somewhat this way “ every tom dick and harry has their own seats, SRK, Niranjan Shah, Shilpa Shetty, Prety Zinda what more; even Lalit Modi has his own VIP seat, why the fuck we don’t have one? We are not even requesting an air conditioned cabin like how most of these assholes are demanding”

He is right uh?

But the BCCI chief administrative officer, Ratnakar Shetty, claimed that the selectors are staying away because they want some rest. “The T20 team has already been announced, so they have decided to cover only the semis and final,” he said.
What a hard work it is to come to the stadium to watch cricket and have some snacks and cokes. It is even difficult to watch all those cheerleaders dancing those awkward dance steps. So they are taking rest. Who will let Mr.Ratnakar Shetty know that those thousands of people coming to watch cricket is just to take rest from their long day work and enjoy the game with popcorn and beer? Our rest is their work; I wonder what will be their real rest then?!!

The news roaming in town; Jaipur is planning to ban cheerleaders and beer bottles in the IPL venues. According to them those skinny dressed ladies are too obscene for the community! I think more than those ladies it is the camera man who should be banned, look where he is going with his stupid naughty camera! I don’t think except those 5% of the crowd who is sitting near the cheerleader’s podiums are even seen any of the girls face. (I know they are more interested in something else rather than the face) So who should be blamed here? None other than cameramen; isn’t it? Poor cheerleaders are busy practicing their dance steps in hotel rooms completely unaware of what was happening in outer world. By the way what the hell were they practicing, we all know what the dance steps they were referring to, one girl will be shaking those furs as if she got hysterics and another one will be giving the flying kisses to the camera man (mmmm, now we know why he love these cheer girls) the third one will be in absolute dilemma to shake her right leg or left leg, boobs or bums! Here we can see the lack of practice though.

Kings XII Punjab lost almost all of the games this time around, they tried everything possible to bring that winning momentum and broaden the smile and dimple of their lovely team owner Preity Zinta, they played Sree Santh in their team and then didn’t play Sree Santh for few matches; all these sort of experiments but unfortunately nothing seems to be working in their favor. There is only one guy who seems to be laughing in their dugout, Yuvraj! He has been sacked from the captaincy of Kings XII this year, he had a point to prove, boy, and didn’t he prove it in solid way? Except that Super Over match against Chennai Super Kings he always hit the cricket ball solidly to make sure to find some fielder under it! Earlier he had a fight with captain Sangakkara in the dressing room, Sangakkara was questioning Yuvraj’s careless shot selection where the short tempered left hander got furious over the issue, he shouted at everyone who questioned his integrity that he has been playing these kinds of shots throughout his career and he will be doing the same in the future! Sri Lankan player Sangakkara apparently failed to understand anything that came out from Yuvi’s mouth in tremendous pace and rush.

The latest is “Kings XII Punjab is for sale!” The co owners complaining about the loss they suffered during 3 IPL editions, now we beginning to hear some bad news from IPL fraternity. Underneath all those shining polish, glitters, fire crackers, bitches and cars there are some casualties!

To add the agony; the team is for sale for half the price!

No takers! Nobody wants Kings XII Punjab! Just bear in mind some idiots bought two more brand new teams for next year’s IPL, Kerala and Pune for millions of dollars! Still there are no takers for Preity’s team not even for half of the price! Isn’t it shocking?

We will hear more about it in coming days.

Lalit Modi instructed the camera man to capture him on the camera not less than ten times in each game, the obedient camera men are doing exactly same what they have been instructed to, capturing different activities of Mr.Lalit Modi, such as picking up the nose, scratching the balls, try to peep into cheerleader’s cleavage, operating two mobile phones at one time, chatting with celebrities etc.

More IPL snippets to come your way…
Till then, Adios!