The day after the High Voltage Match!

Next day after the clash of two giants in World Cup semi final I went to a salon to have a haircut. Those Pakistan hair dressers seem like so dejected and frustrated, I did not say a word about cricket till they finish their job on my hair, I was really scared of losing one of my ear between their scissor blades if I utter a word about cricket!

I thought it was so strange when I noticed they were watching a Chinese channel on the TV, err.., they were listening to the Chinese channel on TV. Before going out of the salon, after opening the push door completely I asked the hair dresser, “Why are you watching a Chinese channel? Do you know Chinese?”

“Every fucking channel is talking about that chootiya khel cricket. We had enough, all bullshit!” One of the men grumbled with an astonishing anger!

“But that is only a game, one team has to lose. Both teams cannot be qualified for the final game” I put forward a general theory.

“Then why can’t you guys lose the game?” one of them shouted!

I closed the door and walked away, immediately I understood the intensity of the situation! After a while I turned back in fear to check if they are coming after me with a scissors to cut my neck?

I would say the empathetic Indian win against their neighbor should contribute a lot to Pakistan cricket team itself for their dropped catches, sloppy fielding, run out chances and Kamran Akmal.  The Pakistan wicket keeper did something right only to make Goutham Gambhir out. Otherwise he was in his usual form.

Man of the Match Sachin Tendulkar should gift his trophy to Pakistan’s Mis bah ul Haq! He is the one worked hard to see India win. As fuming Pakistan commentator Rameez Raja said “if Mis Bah can hit a six like that in last overs (where there is no hope left) why couldn’t he hit one before?”

As long as Mis Bah Ul Haq is there in Pakistan cricket team India can win any tight, pressure cooker match effortlessly, remember T20 World Cup final?

Harbhajan Singh is under injury threat after taking two or three flying moths in his mouth following the wicket of Pakistan Captain Shahid Afridi! The insects entered in his mouth died immediately, one which narrowly escaped told his friends his three best friends sunk in a toilet bowl! Don’t ever fly nearby that thing, it is highly dangerous! If you don’t sink in it, you might get strangled in curly hair around it!

Why Indians didn’t appeal when Strauss edged?

The Indian team seems to have a “hearing problem” in addition to its bowling and fielding affliction which led to its failure to shield a strong score of 338 in the World Cup match against England on Sunday.

Much has been spoken and written about how poor bowling and fielding in addition to late batting collapse that resulted in the fall of India’s last seven wickets for 33 runs and nearly enabled England to win. I mentioned in my previous blog how happy Mr.Dhoni was to draw a match that was surely could have won hands down. I seriously think Dhoni should consult an ENT specialist before the next match for the betterment of Indian cricket. Zaheer Khan too should accompany Dhoni.

England skipper Andrew Strauss, who was the architect of India’s agony by scoring his highest score in ODI 158, should have been out when he has scored a mere 13 if wicket keeper Dhoni, Zaheer or close-in fielders had appealed for a caught behind at that point. Strauss clearly nicked a Zaheer delivery and waiting for an appeal from behind and the bowler, for his amusement there were no appeal! 98 runs later, the England captain had edged another delivery from the same bowler Zaheer with his score at 111 but none of the Indians on the field appealed! There is no excuse to blame noisy crowd. When Strauss trapped Leg before he was expecting same mute from Indians, but this time they did appeal and got him out. How sad!

Sachin Tendulkar scored 137 v Sri Lanka at Delhi on March 2, 1996,

Sachin scored 143 v Australia at Sharjah on April 22, 1998,

Sachin scored 141 v Pakistan at Rawalpindi on March 16, 2004,

Sachin scored 123 v Pakistan at Ahmedabad on April 12, 2005

Sachin scored 175 v Australia at Hyderabad on November 5, 2009

All above matches have one thing in common, no. Not only Tendulkar’s centuries. India lost in all those matches. I am not blaming the little master for those losses, he did well his part but his countrymen failed to capitalize on his contribution. They let him down most of the time when he scored heavily.

Sachin is not the greatest – An Answer to Atherton.

Sachin Tendulkar is a great batsman but to suggest he is the best ever is demeaning to those former greats who survived the bodyline series and stood at the crease without any modern-day safety gears, feels former England skipper Mike Atherton.

"To suggest that Tendulkar -- or, indeed, any modern, armoured or, to use (Viv) Richards's phrase, "pampered" player -- is the best ever is demeaning to those former greats who stood at the crease in the knowledge that their next ball could be their last," Artherton wrote in 'The Times'.

Atherton feels modern-day protections have made life easier for current batsmen compared to yesteryears and so it remains to be seen how Tendulkar's career would have shaped up if these gears were not available.
"Images of Tendulkar have adorned newspapers and websites throughout the week. Images, mostly, of the 'Little Master' at the crease, compact and balanced. So compact and balanced, in fact, that Bradman said Tendulkar was the modern player whose method most closely resembled his own.''

"There was, though, one crucial difference, which the image of Tendulkar on these pages on Monday highlighted. Perched on top of Tendulkar's head ... was a bright blue helmet and a grille to protect his features.''

"Tendulkar was batting in a One-day game, but had the image been of him batting in whites, there is a good chance that, along with a helmet, Tendulkar would have been wearing an arm guard and a chest guard, too. He is always amply protected," he wrote.

"Which is not to say that Tendulkar lacks bravery. Indeed, he proved his 'manhood' in his first Test series when Waqar Younis bloodied his nose and Tendulkar refused treatment and carried on batting," Atherton said.

"He wore a grille from then on, though, so that when James Anderson sent a ball crashing into it at Trent Bridge in July 2007, Tendulkar was able to shake his head and carry on as if he had been hit with a wet sponge," he added.

Atherton believes Tendulkar would be inconvenienced if he steps on the field without a helmet.

"Tendulkar's method suggests that he would be little inconvenienced by not wearing a helmet. He does not hook, nor does he plunge on to the front foot. And he watches the ball like a hawk.''
"Nevertheless, would he have lasted as long, would he have scored as many runs, would that blow to his face by Anderson would not have affected his confidence in any way? We cannot know for sure.''

"Bradman's average plummeted in the Bodyline series, when the need for raw courage was added to the equation. A few modern players would suffer, too.

"The ball is no softer now and the bowlers no less quick, but standing at the crease knowing that you can be killed demands a different level of courage from the realisation that you might just get hurt," he added.

Mr.Atherton, Cricket is not a Wrestle Mania or Boxing ring. The bravery shown on the cricket field is not by taking all those body line balls on your nose and testicles! And no cricketer in the world had known for his ability to survive on the field from meteoroid balls. Even Don Bradman who been considered as the best batsman in the world is known for his records as a cricketer in numeric value. Not his bravery to survive body line balling. Just because some player in the past have dodged the bodyline balling doesn’t make them the best, if that is the case every player faced body line bowling would be greats!

For an argument one can say Don Bradman’s career revolved around only against English. The great batsman did not get a chance to play in subcontinents. That doesn’t make Sir Don Bradman less significant!

Mr.Atherton,to show your bravery there are a lot of other sports available widely to chose from, in your opinion you are saying the modern batsman should not wear the helmet and take those full toss balls on your face and those slipped Yorkers on your balls isn’t it? You did play cricket for long time and you are not even closer to Sachin or Ponting, why? Did you bat without helmet and guards?

I think Atherton is pretty tired of seeing too much of “Sachin the Greatest” news all this week. He needs to get a good sleep.

Atherton is an Ankylosing spondylitis patient. Ankylosing spondylitis is a painful, progressive rheumatic disease, mainly of the spine. It can also affect other joints, tendons and ligaments and other areas, such as the eyes and heart. If left untreated, the disease can cause progressive stiffening of the spine, leading to immobility. It is caused by inflammation in the joints between the vertebrae, and of the sacroiliac joints in the pelvis. As a reaction to the inflammation, a small amount of bone erosion occurs.

May be that is the reason why Atherton thought about body line bowling and pain! Not ridiculing him or his ability as a batsman but seriously I think that is the reason or I can’t find any better reason for him to bring this pain issue now.

Harbhajan Singh - When will you learn?

Harbhajan Singh is one cricketer who would never leave the lime light even in his sleep, while he suck the thumb in a nice deep sleep you go there to his home with a video camera; strangely you can find his middle finger rising at you – this is his automatic reaction to the media that no doctor in the world have the clue about! That is Bhaji as affectionately called by his fans and friends! He loves to stay in the news regardless of the way how he gets there. Slap gate, spitting, abusing, kicking, staring…you name it; poor fellow had tried everything possible to get his name in the news! He makes even more news after realizing that he did something wrong and necessitates covering it with some crap.

Harbhajan has this uncanny ability to piss off anybody who comes close to him in a mile or so just like his co-player Srisanth! If Sri is a grenade then Bhaji is machine gun, he gets into controversies in rapid pace and enthusiasm that nobody could match. In very rare occasions these giant bulls likes to meet in a ring. Last time when they scuffle in a Wrestling called IPL Wrestle Mania; Bhaji won the brawn game by a huge margin while Sri thrives in brain game. The fearsome pace bowler cried in public like a baby who lost the candy to bring much required camera attention. Nobody had an idea why this beast is crying including the commentators, Kings XII Punjab - Srisanth’s team in IPL; won the match convincingly against Mumbai Indians, hoist the doubt of having him overjoyed tears! When they watched the video; someone in the dressing room found that shocking reality - Preity Zinta the bubbly owner of Kings XII Punjab cuddled every team members except Sri! Is he upset and heartbroken by this merciless act by the movie star? No. Not at all – Bhaji gave him a tight slap, this kind of brainless act can be done by only one person in current Indian team that is none other than Bhaji. Srisanth’s cry caused Bhaji hell of lot money, his burning desire to buy a HUMMER vehicle faded like a line in the water. He bought one this year though, took two more years to fulfill his wish! Even his much sort after HUMMER led him into another controversy for driving the vehicle on Indian roads without proper registration or documents!

In Australian tour Bhaji called Symonds (another short tempered cricketer) “Monkey”! It triggered a lot of controversies even prompting Indian team to pull off the tour! Good for Bhaji this incident took place before the Slap gate or else BCCI will not be buying his version of it! Bhaji refused any wrong doings with the backing of few senior players in the team straight away. He explained “I never called Symonds monkey but I called him Makki Chooth! He misunderstood my native language as an English word!” The explanation was taken, Cricket Australia convinced completely. Bhaji let go without any major punishment, some players in the Aussies side were furious and dejected about the judgment. Now readers in the west will be wondering what did he call Symo in his native language – Makki Chooth means Mother Fucker!!! A term that is much more abusive and offensive than Monkey in India.

No doubt there is a huge cultural gap between west and east. Most of the part in India monkey is god, in some northern cities there are thousands of monkeys living openly in temples and nearby areas. Snatching food and other items from onlookers and hurting people are not a news there, can’t abuse monkeys or smack them, because according to Hindu believes those are “athma” (souls) of dead people, it can be your own ancestors! Who wants to smack their own grandpas?

The word “Makki chooth” is been used by low class uneducated people in India in extreme situations. You can measure the individual quality of a man in Bhaji here! He is the one been awarded by Indian government with one of the highest honor “Padmasri”. Being too big to go and accept the award the off spinner chose to get entertained and shoot for ads with few friends also evoked ripple of controversy!

To add the last one to Bhaji’s ever ending controversy list is jabbing a camera person in Bangalore Airport after the camera man brushed against him while filming. Indian Television channels showed clearly the spoilt brat Bhaji hitting the camera after the camera man pushed forward while the player was retrieving luggage from a car.

Media in India is like bunch of hungry wolves constantly searching for some sensationalism or bits and pieces of celebrity news, may be they knows better how to extract a news out of Bhaji! Succeed in big time, channels celebrated and filled their news hours with this not so important news!

Again Bhaji is in fresh storm. Like everybody does now days to come out of the cloud he too came up with his own version of the story in his own blog.

“I am facing the car, I have no clue what is behind me. The camera man is seen running towards me and the intensity and pace with which his camera clearly hits my head and it was not like just a touch, it hit me hard on my head and patka," Harbhajan wrote in his blog.

"I am very particular of being touched and hit at my head or my patka. As a prompt reflex, not even knowing what hit my head I pushed the object, realizing it after I pushed it that it was a camera. At no stage did I hit or slap the cameraman. Neither will I ever do it," he added.

But Mr.Harbhajan Singh, the camera eyes will not lie, it clearly shows that you are hitting the camera and staring at the camera man like a goon on the street! How long we people have to compromise on your behavior for your contribution to Indian cricket? Is there any problem with the way how you brought up or the transformation happened after you became rich and popular?

A tale of Andrew Symonds!

Andrew Symonds is one of the best batsmen in world cricket today who can easily rip apart any bowler by bat or by baath (talk – some areas they call it sledging!) If he is spinning the ball then you got a nuisance also along with the twirl especially when you are in batting side. But his side will just love him for doing so! He can floor any streakers who comes on his way too!

Symonds had a lot of problems from the day one. He is not that bad though the bad speculation and bad mouthed fellow cricketers tarnished his image. He is not a drunkard like many of you think, he drinks only in special occasions just like me and you do, no body can blame him for having special occasions literally every day isn’t it? And he drink only four Fosters beer, (just to start with) is that a sin? What is the problem for his fellow Australians if he mixes tequila with beer? And they talk about his fights in the bar. He fights only with guys who stare at him; it can be baseball players, football players or simply the bearers who just happened to be in wrong side of the bar. So what?

The biggest problem that Symonds faced in Australian dressing room was his own team mates, there is no Hayden, Gilchrist or McGrath in the team any more and the new bunch of young players looked at him as if they are watching a horror movie! At least this is what they heard about Symonds when they were playing for Australian Junior Cricket Team or their parents asked them to stay away from a person who’s got weird hair cut or ever white lips!

One late evening right after the Australian win against Pakistan; when all the players are returning to their hotel room, one young lad got in to Symonds’s nerves by simply avoiding and ignoring him like cow dung! Raising up to his reputation Symonds chased this young fellow till his room, the budding player was horrified and closed his room door to shake the whole hotel building, Symo knocked and kicked the door, end up making only some noise without the desired result, the young lad was terrified like a hostage surrounded by armed terrorists, shivering like a wet rat! Straight away Symonds complained to the coach. Coach called the young player to his room; he always kept a comfort distance with Symonds even when sitting there in the room.

Why did you run when you saw Symo? Why did you avoid him like plague? Don’t you think it is an insult to a great cricketer like Andrew Symonds? This time Symonds looked at the coach in anger to punch on his nose. Not because of anything but when coach said the word “a great cricketer” he chuckled unnecessarily! The answer from the newbie was surprising for both coach and Symonds!

“I was late to play my Xbox!”

Though Symonds astonished by the answer but the coach found it completely convincing enough and let him go without any punishment or further questions.

When Symonds gone to play IPL in South Africa, he was like a free bird, the Deccan Charger’s coach Lehman, captain Adam Gill Christ were very supportive, and the owner of the team offers a great liquor party every time they win, they offer same party every time they lose too, now this is exciting.

Gilly apparently advised Symo to have a tension less, glamorous life like how he and Heydo (Mathew Heyden) leads. No pressure cooker situations from Cricket Australia, no hectic schedule through out the year, make a huge amount of money that usually you make by playing the whole year for Australia, play only a month or so and relax in your favorite beaches with few babes, get drunk rest of the year. I am dead sure the last sentence has definitely motivated Symonds to make some deliberate problems in the dressing room and opt out of Cricket Australia intentionally! If the money he gets from IPL is not good enough; he can still make a lot from Lancashire by playing seasonal cricket!

IPL was like a party time for Symonds, just what doctor had ordered. He felt as if he was in a different world especially right after the Chappel Cup in UAE against Pakistan. He has been questioned for laughing out loudly, picking his nose, scratching his balls etc. He was tired of answering all these unwanted and unnecessary questions. Top of all he not supposed to get drunk during his stay with the team, now that is unbearable and heart breaking. When he went to South Africa he was like Alice in wonder land in IPL world, beer and girls are the basic thing you get there to start from, then you may improve game by game, every night is a party night. The bosses of IPL believed in a simple theory of “entertain the entertainer in order to get entertained!”

Though Symonds is planning to retire from international cricket by end of this week, he may get better and more devastating in domestic level for years to come. There are two types of people in the world, one who wait for their faith, another who creates their own faith!

"Dhoni v/s Sehwag" Assumption or Real?

There are a lot of speculation over MS Dhoni’s statement to the media when media asked him about Sehwag’s recovery from the injury that he developed during the IPL; Dhoni’s reply was as cool as cucumber

"May be you should ask his physio to issue a press release"

This is where he had gone terribly wrong. It was as if someone is asking an innocent and Ahimsa person; can you give me a stick so I can beat you up left right and center! Unfortunately being an Ahimsa dude Dhoni had gifted not only the stick but also with sharp thorns on it!

Immediatly Dhoni pressed the panic button and made a press conference to clear the cloud.

"This message is for the people of India and for Indian cricket fans worldwide and comes from the whole team, recent reports in the Indian media of a rift between me and Sehwag amounts to nothing but false and irresponsible media reporting,"

Mr.Dhoni, we hope you know the media better than anybody in the business, even you were a favorite kid of media at a point of time. They were just waiting for little bit of controversy or sensationalism to blow out of the proportion with a pinch of salt. To make a sheep a fox or vice versa is not a big deal for the press in any given time. So a statement that you said in the press meet is godsend for them.

On the other side of the coin; did we witness a curious case of “spilling the beans” here? Is there any substance in this gossip?

One could easily say yes!

Dhoni was tired of praising his deputy in each and every press conference he had recently, though Viru couldn’t show his real metal during IPL outing; his International cricket was on the rise; bettered his own position in ICC ranking as well. I would say it was media’s fault all together, why are they asking to Dhoni about Viru’s black mole on forehead or his deodorant brand all the time, not being gay partners it is very difficult to explain folks. If it let it go this way, press may ask next question why Viru is spitting on the ground always when he is out there to play cricket and making his own fielders to step on it to loose their balance resulting miss-fields or why is he losing hair despite of his uncluttered mind?! Instead why can’t you guys ask Dhoni something more interesting for him, about his lady body guards to protect him from ladies fans who suddenly appears out of blue to rush at him from all directions to press their boobs to suffocate him (it can cause a brutal asphyxiated death) or construction of his own temple in his native village? If not all these questions I mentioned above; at least you should have asked about his hair style that resembles electric shocked Simpsons.

On other side Viru is a man with steel testicles not bothers to fight for the captaincy or egoism just like his batting style, when it happens you can scream about it, if it is not then what the fuck, leave it and concentrate on the cricket what others play!

When I said something fishy going on in Indian cricket camp; my friend told me that is what they should not do while playing cricket, other wise it will be hard to find the difference between Andrew Symonds and the whole Indian cricket players?! I puzzled and stared at him in horror to know that he was referring Symond’s bunk over at a friend’s place for fishing during the practice session that earned him punishment from CA. Yeah, you are right; my friend was holding chilled Fosters can. Another real Australian!